Training wheels

Children begin to self-regulate in their toddler or preschool years. This skill continues into adulthood. And of course, for some it will take longer.

They learn to recognize their emotions and discover ways to self-regulate when we begin by doing it alongside them. This helps them create a strong base.

Here’s an example.

When we first teach a child to ride a bike, we do most of the work. We :

·      hold their seat securely

·      help them navigate

·      prompt them to peddle

As they become more agile and confident, we:

·      hold on to their seat less tightly

·      hover over them

·      we let go

With practice, repetition, and encouragement the child bikes alone.

Of course, when they fall, we soothe and nurture them.

We help them get back on. Over time, they fall less. They pick themselves back up.

Because they gained confidence during the process.

As educators, when a child is experiencing a big emotion, what we do matters.

Just like helping a child ride a bike, we start by meeting them where they’re at. This helps us remember to validate and soothe their needs.

Now, what happens if our big emotions bubble up and we didn’t respond at our best? Because it will.

No big deal. We get back up and try again.

We can choose to give ourselves grace in this process. Because we also experience moments when we feel wobbly.

What I find helpful to remind myself is it’s not what I do perfectly once in a blue moon that makes a difference. It’s what I do well most of the time that counts.

With all my love,

Alex