This one is going to burn for a while

This one is going to burn for a while.

Those were the words I shared with my director after hearing some sad news.

After visiting a program twice in the last 10 days, a child on my caseload was discharged. Everyone was blind-sided.

I’ve worked extremely hard these past years to never let this moment happen.

And here we were. Discussing how a childcare discharged a child because of his challenging behaviours.

As you can imagine, the mom was devasted. Her sweet boy was no longer wanted. They didn’t feel it was a good fit.

They declined further collaboration. The board made their decision. End of story.

But not for his parents. They were left to pick up the pieces. They had to scramble to find alternate care until he begins junior Kindergarten in September.

Now don’t get me wrong. I understand how hard it can be to support children with challenging behaviours. I get it. I have scars to prove this.

But the moment we choose to let them go because it’s easier to do vs changing our approach, we do a disservice to the child, their family, ourselves, and our profession.

I truly believe that we can do hard things. We can help a child feel seen, safe, and secure. This approach strengthens a vulnerable platform.

And by strengthening platforms, we help them buffer everyday stress. Which reduces the frequency, duration, and intensity of their challenging behaviours.

But it begins with our mindset. And once we understand their behaviour is communicating an unmet need, we flip the script.

Curiosity, honesty and compassion towards the child and us is what leads to positive change.

Although this email isn’t my usual happy story it is true.

And I promise to turn this burn into creating something in hopes to prevent future discharges.

And if you have any ideas, thoughts, or comments to share, please reply.

With all my love,

Alex