Stick and stones

• What are you here for?

• Go away.

• Why does your voice sound like that?

• I’m annoyed by you speaking.

• Your French sucks.

• You look like your 80 years old.

• Why haven’t you left yet?

Those were a few comments a 10-year-old girl told me. I left out the more colourful language.

I was there to help her educator respond to her challenging behaviours.  

I didn’t know her story, but I saw a girl that was hurt, scared, and looking for some form of control.

Of course, those words can be hurtful. Some more than others.

But with each comment, I chose to imagine them pass through me. I pictured water falling off a duck’s back.

This helped me reduce the tension.

To be able to respond with love. Sometimes I smiled, looked away, went to play with other children or make a joke about it.

After an hour or so, her scripts changed to:  

• I have twin brothers.

• I love Legos.

• I like to draw. I can draw all afternoon.

• My mom has pink and purple hair.

• I like to speak in English.

• Can you draw me something?

• Can I bring it home?

• What are your kids’ names?

The way we respond influences the outcome. Resistance met with resistance creates more.

I’m grateful for your work. I know it can be hard.

With all my love,

Alex