Rainbows

As I walked in a school’s hallway, a little boy in junior kindergarten was being shouted at to “sit and stare at the wall.”

It seemed to be a tactic to help him calm down. He sat there frozen, while his teacher was in fight mode.

Avoiding eye contact with his teacher, I made my way to a classroom to discuss emotions with 3rd graders.

These children were so sweet. And surprisingly keen to discuss big emotions. I wondered if some didn’t get many opportunities to express their feelings. Maybe because some are indoctrinated to sit and try to remain still.

Just like many of us were.

Each child’s table had a napkin placed in front of them with 4 skittles.

They waited patiently to find out when they could eat them. Talk about impulse control!

So, I explained that each skittle represented an emotion. Four (4) common ones we feel in our day to day. Anger, Joy, Sadness and Worry.

One by one, they would choose a colour and explain a time they felt this emotion.

Surprisingly 10 out of the 13 chose the red skittle representing Anger.

They listened to each other’s story. Some talked about feeling anger when their peers don’t listen or play with them. Others about family feuds and school pressure.

I sat close, listened, and empathized “ya that is frustrating”, “that makes me angry too”, “that’s hard” then asked, “what helps you feel better?”

Not surprisingly all their answers varied. From asking for a hug, taking a break, listening to music, drawing, using a fidget, biting their arm, eating food, and exercising.

How many do you think said “try to sit and remain still”.

You guessed it. Zero.

All the coping tools they expressed are helpful for them in the moment. Some unfortunately can have consequences in the future (e.g., emotional eating and self-injurious behaviours).

As educators, we can talk about emotions. And how they show up in our day to day. And what helps us. And then ask them “what about you”? And if they don’t know, we can brainstorm ideas together.

The key is to remember that some tools work for some and not others. We can discover through observation, empathy, listening and curiosity which tools work for who.

With all my love,

Alex