Letting go

As much as I’d like to be cool like a cucumber, it’s a daily struggle. Hence why I recently got tattooed “be still” on my wrist.

So, whenever I chat with educators about sticky situations and hear resistance in letting go, I can totally relate.

But as I discovered, when I’m wise enough to “be still”, I let my inner voice shine.

Recently I met educators who have supporting a 4th grader with toileting. Because he has down syndrome, they believed he needed a lot of help.

So, they would give him 15, 10, 5 & 2 minute warnings, use a timer as visual cue and say before & after statements.

These practices went on for over 1.5 years with little to no success.

When I asked them what worked, they mentioned lots of negotiation.  

But once he got in, he’d scream and try to run away.

Now as you can imagine, doing this day in and day out was tiresome. And the educators absolutely adored this sweet boy however the bathroom routine was wearing them out.

As we discussed, I was wondering if something in the bathroom was bothersome. Or if he was enjoying becoming an amazing negotiator or seeking connection.

I proposed taking data to dig a little deeper. Then I brainstormed with a colleague. This led me to feel torn.

As I laid in bed and became still, I started hearing my inner. It prompted me to “let it go.”

The next day, I called the director. She and the educators were relieved with my proposition. Because instead of the back and forth we decided to go another route.

They would ask him once if he needed to go to the bathroom with his peers.

If he said no, they’d honor his choice. And in the mornings, they would no longer be responsible to remove his pull-up. The school would be able to take this over.

Instead, the educators focused on connecting and playing with him. He loves batman and robin. So, they’d use play to teach him the skill “batman to the rescue, but first he will go to the bathroom because superheros don’t wear pull-ups!”

And the good news is this strategy worked! He started going to the bathroom.

And if ever he denied the group transition, he’d later ask a friend to go with him.

All by letting go.

I know of course we can’t always do this but oftentimes when we become still, clarity follows.

With all my love,

Alex