From darkness to light

I often still reflect on this special story..

A couple of years ago, I picked up a new child from my caseload.

When I called the before and after school program, they said he was absent most afternoons.

I phoned the parent, introduced myself, explained the services and asked what was going on.

To my horror, she shared that for the past month her sweet son was either restrained or sent to a secluded padded room. This happened almost every day when he engaged in challenging or unsafe behaviours.

To make matters worse, her son suffered from a traumatic past. As you can imagine, this “intervention” heightened his stress responses and escalated his behaviours. Most days, the school would call mom to pick him up. Sometimes as early as 10 am.

Understandably, she was at her wits end. She didn’t know what to do. It was a bad situation.

So long story short, 4 days later with recommendations, guidance and help from the Universe, he was transferred to a new school and child care.

I knew from references that his new school and child care would be an ideal match. The director and educators were opened minded, kind and patient.

But when we spoke, they were hesitant. They read about his previous school experience. They discovered he refused to transition, participate, or follow instructions. And that he hits, bites, kicks, runs away, and swears.

They wondered if they’d be able to support him.

Together we unpacked their limiting beliefs. We took the time to discuss their worries. At the end, we decided to focus on the light not the darkness.

We chose to believe that we can make a positive difference for him.

Of course, we knew it would be hard. We decided to focus on the journey not the destination. And to take it one step at a time.

So, we set out a plan. They committed to the practice. And most importantly, they chose to remember their empowering belief during challenging moments.

Flash forward 3 months, his progress has been transformative. I saw a happy boy who formed a strong connection with his educators. He played with peers, transitioned smoothly, followed instructions, and expressed his needs.

When I spoke with his educators, they were beaming with joy. They were happy for him and celebrated his progress. Yes, he still had difficult moments. But by focusing on the light, they helped him see it too.

A lot of our identity stems from our early experiences. We form beliefs of what we can and can’t do. Sometimes we develop limiting beliefs and hold on to them for decades because we think they’re true.

I have immense respect and love for what you do. Your profession is an opportunity to empower children to believe in their greatness. Because when we choose to see their light instead of the darkness, we help them see it too.

With much love,

Alex