Dimensions

Over time, I've improved the skill of zooming out to embrace a broader perspective, a practice that comes most effortlessly in moments of calm. Stress, on the other hand, tends to narrow my focus.

Working with misunderstood children demands a broadened approach. Their behaviors are far from one-dimensional; they exist on multiple layers, requiring time and patience to decipher potential underlying factors. Some for which we will never fully understand.

Here’s a recent example. Earlier this week a child forcefully grabbed my child’s neck at daycare. This news was communicated to my partner. As you can imagine, his initial thoughts were narrow.

Back at home, we took a few deep breaths to zoom out. Then we asked our son to share his perspective. We validated how he felt. Then, we focused on brainstorming potential reasons why the child hurt him. Most importantly, we discussed what can be done to mitigate this from happening again.

I hope the child’s parent used a similar approach. However sometimes instead privileges are removed. Or a punishment happens. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help the child problem solve solutions.

As an educator, the follow we day, we can focus on building capacity. For example:

·      Meet with the child discretely to ask open-ended questions to better understand.

·      Be curious about our mindset towards them. Do we see their challenges as lagging skills or stress responses? Or are their misbehaviours tainting our lens?

·      Ask ourselves if certain environmental factors might be contributing (e.g., long transitions, lack of toys, noisy room, etc.)

·      Stay close and check in regularly to see how the child is feeling.

·      Recognize and celebrate the child's wins.

·      Continue to establish and maintain a positive relationship with them.

It’s helpful to remind ourselves that we can only control the controllable. In case you’re wondering, these are our thoughts and behaviours. Beauty lies in simplicity. Oftentimes simple things are the hardest to hone.

Your efforts and time to unravel challenges make an important difference.

With all my love,

Alex