Am I on the hook?

Sometimes we might not know. 

Or think we aren’t.

But we often get to choose.

When we do, we take responsibility. We show up. We’re generous. 

And others benefit from our help. 

Once I was visiting a school age program. A child in junior Kindergarten sometimes struggles in the mornings at child care.

Unfortunately, school doesn’t always agree with him. When he’s asked to do X, Y & Z it doesn’t always happen. 

Sometimes he shows up at daycare anxious, frustrated, and tired. On occasion he engages in challenging behaviours. The educator shared with me that he’s hit her a few times. This caused her anxiety and stress.

I asked if she collaborated with his parents.

She seemed confused. She explained that they never shared this information. It wasn’t her responsibility. “Surely the school will let the parents know he’s having a hard time. The teachers have also been hit,” she said. 

So, in a couple of weeks during parent/teacher meetings she was crossing her fingers someone would speak up. 

As an educator she didn’t think she had much skin in the game. 

I believe educators have a world of knowledge, resources, empathy, flexibility, and the ability to help parents/guardians. 

But here’s the thing, we create our own limits.

Thankfully after a few reflective questions and some gentle nudging she decided to put herself on the hook.

Soon afterwards, I called the parent to share resources. The mom was beaming over the phone. 

She was very grateful for the opportunity to sit down with the educator and director. They discussed her child’s strengths, abilities, and triggers. She felt seen, valued, and understood. 

As a result, they troubleshooted a creative morning communication system. 

“It’s been so helpful", mom said. “Every morning, next to his name on the attendance sheet, I draw a code to signal to his educator how is morning went.”

This scribble is not only helpful for his parents and the educator. It’s supportive to the child. 

Every day they collaborate with each other towards a common goal. 

And this began by simply choosing to be on the hook. It’s often the little things that add up.

With all my love,

Alex